Darkwolf

Year: 2003
Written by: Geoffrey Alan Holliday
Directed by: Richard Friedman
Starring: Samaire Armstrong, Ryan Alosio, Jaime Bergman and Tippi Hedren (Wha?)
Details: 94 mins / 20th Century Fox Home Video / Rated R

“You’re saying that there’s something out there…that wants to hook up with me?” I guess that’s one way to put it sweetie.

Darkwolf is the story of a wolf who is dark. And who wants to mate. That’s pretty much it. You know what kind of movie you’re getting into when it starts out with lovely, gratuitous nudity (and plenty of Playboy-like interludes to follow.) And then comes the cursing flood. I don’t have a problem with Pulp Fiction cursing, I have a problem with throwaway cursing like, “just open the fucking door, okay?”

The experience isn’t all together horrible. The horror film lite genre certainly provides a few jump scares and a modicum of suspense. But in general, the film is reminiscent of a below average episode of Buffy. Only, it’s not quite as interesting, or as funny. Add some pretty skanky CGI, and you’ve got some room for chuckles.

That’s not to say that the film isn’t a complete loss, though. If there’s one thing this film isn’t lacking it’s hot girls and gore. Naturally, most horror aficionados find this to be the most important aspects of low budget horror. Unfortunately with those good low budget elements comes the bad: Although she was great on Son of the Beach, Playmate Jamie Bergman doesn’t really play a cop well. She’s obviously eye candy. Then comes the expositional heavy dialogue (first this happens, then this). But, it’s still not as bad as Final Destination 2. Finally, in the greatest misuse of an actress in a direct-to-video movie, there’s Tippi Hedren. She was in a little film called The Birds. Ever hear of it? And Marnie too. I won’t begin to guess why she chose this role, and I won’t even make a joke about it.

So what’s the final word on Darkwolf? I suggest the following. Pizza, beer, friends (of the manly variety) and Mystery Science Theater commentary. This film isn’t going to win any awards, but I’ve seen worse.

Movie Grade: C-

Video: 3 out of 5
It looks like it was shot on Hi-Def, so the picture isn’t bad. A little soft, but that’s natural for a low budget film such as this.
Widescreen Anamophic 1.78:1

Audio: 3 out of 5
The audio isn’t bad. There’s a nice 5.1 mix that makes great use of sound scares and bass-y music. Surround isn’t really heavy, but where it is present, it works pretty well.
English (Dolby 5.1), Spanish (Dolby 5.1)

Extras: 3 out of 5
The making of isn’t bad. A little self important, though - it’s a low budget movie, it’s not American Beauty. No matter, the making of runs about fifteen minutes. There’s also a blooper reel and a trailer.

Overall: 2 out of 5
It ain’t Evil Dead. It ain’t Manos: The Hands of Fate. Somewhere, in that nebulous in between. The key? Lots of beer. Enjoy.

P.S. Some of the young cast, especially the two female unknown leads, show a lot of promise. They manage to rise above the material. Frankly, I’d rather see them than Ali Larter and Mena Suvari.

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