Jerry and Nick are two friends who want to enjoy some adventure in their lives, so they book a singles cruise and ready themselves to bring in the ladies. Little do they know (but you’ll know if you have seen a single commercial), they’ve been booked on a gay cruise. Of course, in theory, this is supposed to open the floodgates for ever so many romantic mis-understandings, but there’s a big problem with Boat Trip, there’s nary a chuckle in the whole thing.

The movie has all the comedic timing of a hyperactive fourth grader. You know the kind of humor I mean – that desperate, sickening kind of humor that you see in high school plays and bad UPN comedies. The worst thing of course, is the terrible way you feel about all the actors involved.

Cuba Gooding Jr. has become like some kind of self parody. Like the movie, he has a desperation that’s so transparent as to be completely embarrassing. The amazing variety of his bad movie choices astound even him. Does he even read the scripts that he’s given? It’s not as though he’s a bad actor, he’s made exactly two good movies, but really he should consider picking up a new agent. Unless he really enjoys doing movies like Snow Dogs and Chill Factor.

His desperation is even more apparent as Jerry. Naturally, his character must fall in love with the only woman on the boat, a dance choreographer played by the supremely sexy Roselyn Sanchez. Cuba runs around and says stupid crap and tries to impress the girl while Horatio Sanz runs around doing what amounts to be a very poor, hour and forty minute SNL sketch. Lame gross out gags, a leading soundtrack telling you what to feel, limp lines and people with apartments that look like only Bill Gates can afford them – this is what Boat Trip is.

Perhaps in an attempt to balance out the gay humor, the movie presents us with a gaggle of beauties to gaze upon. Victoria Silvstead and her “tanning team” are pulled aboard the boat and go topless whenever they have the chance. My favorite chica though, must be the aforementioned Roselyn Sanchez who wears tops that leave no question to if she's wearing a bra. But mostly I enjoy her because she demonstrates her oral technique on a banana. With that accent… oh boy…I…I… I mention these things, only because there is so little to talk about in the movie itself. A terrible, awful waste of my time.

Movie Grade: D-

Video: 3 out of 5
Given the low budget nature of the flick, there’s a little graininess to the transfer. But whatever, the movie sucks anyway.
Anamorphic Widescreen 1.85:1