The
Cover |
Add this to the short list of things that creep me out: sepia-toned pictures
of children from the mid 20th century....eww...do they all have to stare
like that? At least the snot nosed brats smile in this day and age. That's
how Darkness Falls starts. And I have to say I like the setup. As the legend
goes, because of an overly involved back-story and front loaded narrative,
on the night you lose your last tooth in Darkness Falls, the Tooth Fairy
will come and visit. If you gaze into her horrible visage then you will
die or something. I'm not quite sure, because the movie isn't entirely
clear on actually execution of the ghost's plan. The Tooth Fairy was supposed
to be the next big thing in horror, but Darkness Falls was a universal
disappointment both commercially and critically. Instead of writing an
actual review like I should, here are the notes I took:
-The soundtrack is lush and wet, pulsing in that creepy
way that only horror movies can.
-Hey! It's the creepy kid from The Ring again! No, wait.
It's just a similar looking moppet. And here's another idea: quit making
all the goddamn kids the beckoners of doom who seem to speak from beyond.
-The writing is stilted an expositional. Hasn't anyone
heard of subtlety in this place? It took three people to write this?
-Why is it that the Tooth Fairy is attacking people that
haven't seen her? Oh well. But it's huge lapses like this that make the
whole thing distracting and un-scary.
-Par for the course: a wussy rock soundtrack - think I
Know What You Did Last Summer, Scream, etc.
-The camerawork is pretty lush and full - reminiscent
of the world's whoriest director, Michael Bay. I may not always like
the man's movies, but he sure knows how to pick cinematographers. Same
goes here.
-The usual jump scares courtesy of the soundtrack. Enough
with that junk all ready. It's boring.
-Uh-oh the kids are pale and they speak with accents.
OHHHHHH CAAAAAANNNAAADDDAAAA!
-Here's something else creepy. Fourteen year olds who
speak and emote like adults. These young kids have better relationships
than I do.
Those are my actual, typed notes. I'm not kidding. As
for Darkness Falls, I've seen far worse. I think my lack of interest
is that I can't swing one way or the other. I don't like it but I don't
hate it as much as Bad Company. Emma Caulfield is great, but I didn’t
recognize her immediately in this role. She lost her Buffy vibrancy when
she showed up screen here. Darkness Falls is fine for a group of sorority
girls who like wine coolers, but if you're looking for another Exorcist or
even The Ring, you won't find it here.
Movie Grade: C-
Video: 2 out of 5
The good: The movie comes in two flavors, widescreen and full on the
same side. This usually means that the video quality suffers. On the
widescreen (which isn't anamorphic), through the black bars you can
see the ghosted images of the full screen version at times. This is
annoying. It also means that the full screen version isn't cropped
from the widescreen - it's called "open frame" and there's
a good chance you might see a boom mic peeking into the top of the
frame at some point. I didn't see anything, but I wasn't looking that
hard.
Widescreen 2.35:1 and Full Screen 1.33:1
Figured you'd like a sexy picture
of Emma, rather than a frame from the movie. |
Audio: 4 out of 5
The audio is actually quite nice on this disc. The atmosphere of the
soundtrack is quite strong and it's weezy and wet, perfect for a horror
movie.
English (Dolby 5.1 and 2.0)
Extras: 3.5 out of 5
There's actually one extra that I liked. It's a ten minute tale of the "real
life Tooth Fairy" and the inspiration for the movie. Nice and creepy.
There's a 20 minute behind the scenes that's nothing more than film clips
and annoying Australian people. There's two commentaries in which the
unaccomplished director speaks about his flick and a writer explains
why his dialogue is so stilted and unnatural. Ok, he doesn't. But I sure
wish he would.
Overall: 2.5 out of 5
There's really no reason to outright purchase it, unless you are collecting
the cumulative work of Emma Caulfield. And as for rental, well it's
short, so that's good. Rent if you're doing a weekend contemporary
horror film festival. Then laugh, laugh, laugh the night away and enjoy
the last line of this fine movie: "I see you, bitch!"
Buy
Darkness Falls and Support Lights Out Films |
