This is the original, mind you, not a pseudo-hip remake with zombies that move like superheroes on speed. The original Dawn of the Dead is the quintessential zombie movie. It perfectly balances the elements of drama, cheese, horror, and satire, along with a great gore and a cult style filmmaking and that rivals the best of movies of this type. The premise is simple enough. The dead have come back, and they’re biting living people who then turn into zombies. The United States (and possibly the world) is in ruins. Cities have been completely shut down, the airwaves are slowly crumbling and the terrible green zombies roam the countryside in a stupor. Only a few brave remain, and they take cover wherever they can, in this case, our intrepid group takes refuge within that greatest of American institutions, the mall.

Dawn of the Dead is so pervasive in American culture, that the ideas and ways that it presents those ideas now seem almost cliché. But it’s important to note that the film was something of a revolution for its time. Like its predecessor, Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead was revolutionary in the way that it presented gore, laughs, and social commentary all in one big package.

Romero justly believes that his film has an anti-consumerist bent, but that’s never what struck me about it. What I notice more is the choking loneliness that comes from being in a sealed off world, surrounded by slow moving zombies with no brain. Dawn of the Dead brilliantly presents this passage of time, like travelers on a space ship. It has the very real effect of making you think “what the hell would I do?” What would you do with a whole lot of time, a whole lot of resources, but little more than that?

The film has mostly aged well with very few things that make it seem dated. This film could very well take place now. It has a little bit of everything for everybody: tons of gore, lots of laughs and lonliness that never ends.

Movie Grade: A

Video: 4 out of 5
Rarely do you see such an old film look so good. They cleaned it up, balanced the colors, and if not for the sometimes 70’s clothing, the thing could have been made yesterday,
Widescreen Anamorphic - 1.85

Audio: 4 out of 5
The DTS track is extremely unnecessary and very under-utilized, but it does present the mono audio as well as you’re going to hear it.
English (Dolby 2.0, 5.1, DTS 5.1, Mono)

Extras: 5 out of 5
Since it is a four disc set, this is where it really shines. There are no less than three different versions of the films, including the US, European, and Extended. Only the European version is significantly different. It’s quicker paced, includes different music, but my money is still on the original version. The fourth disc has a great new, talking head documentary about the creation of the film. There’s not tons of archival material, but it is worth the hour and a half that you’ll spend with it. Next is another documentary from 20 years ago. It’s not as polished, but does include a lot of nice interviews with the cast and crew in their younger days. Also included on the disc are some short home video of the production and a bizarrely conducted walking tour of the Monroeville Mall. All the film versions have commentaries, the best being the moderated version on the theatrical version. Scattered about all discs are bios, photo galleries, and art.

Overall: 4.5 out of 5
This is certainly the ultimate edition for any fan. I don’t know what else they could have included in this package to make it more appealing; maybe some fake zombie skin or something. Horror fans should be ashamed if they haven’t seen this, and newbies would be well advised to pick it up and check out one of the classics. I feel like going to the mall now.

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Darkwolf is the story of a wolf who is dark. And who wants to mate. That’s pretty much it. You know what kind of movie you’re getting into when it starts out with lovely, gratuitous nudity (and plenty of Playboy-like interludes to follow.) And then comes the cursing flood. I don’t have a problem with Pulp Fiction cursing, I have a problem with throwaway cursing like, “just open the fucking door, okay?”

The experience isn’t all together horrible. The horror film lite genre certainly provides a few jump scares and a modicum of suspense. But in general, the film is reminiscent of a below average episode of Buffy. Only, it’s not quite as interesting, or as funny. Add some pretty skanky CGI, and you’ve got some room for chuckles.

That’s not to say that the film isn’t a complete loss, though. If there’s one thing this film isn’t lacking it’s hot girls and gore. Naturally, most horror aficionados find this to be the most important aspects of low budget horror. Unfortunately with those good low budget elements comes the bad: Although she was great on Son of the Beach, Playmate Jamie Bergman doesn’t really play a cop well. She’s obviously eye candy. Then comes the expositional heavy dialogue (first this happens, then this). But, it’s still not as bad as Final Destination 2. Finally, in the greatest misuse of an actress in a direct-to-video movie, there’s Tippi Hedren. She was in a little film called The Birds. Ever hear of it? And Marnie too. I won’t begin to guess why she chose this role, and I won’t even make a joke about it.

So what’s the final word on Darkwolf? I suggest the following. Pizza, beer, friends (of the manly variety) and Mystery Science Theater commentary. This film isn’t going to win any awards, but I’ve seen worse.

Movie Grade: C-

Video: 3 out of 5
It looks like it was shot on Hi-Def, so the picture isn’t bad. A little soft, but that’s natural for a low budget film such as this.
Widescreen Anamophic 1.78:1

Audio: 3 out of 5
The audio isn’t bad. There’s a nice 5.1 mix that makes great use of sound scares and bass-y music. Surround isn’t really heavy, but where it is present, it works pretty well.
English (Dolby 5.1), Spanish (Dolby 5.1)

Extras: 3 out of 5
The making of isn’t bad. A little self important, though - it’s a low budget movie, it’s not American Beauty. No matter, the making of runs about fifteen minutes. There’s also a blooper reel and a trailer.

Overall: 2 out of 5
It ain’t Evil Dead. It ain’t Manos: The Hands of Fate. Somewhere, in that nebulous in between. The key? Lots of beer. Enjoy.

P.S. Some of the young cast, especially the two female unknown leads, show a lot of promise. They manage to rise above the material. Frankly, I’d rather see them than Ali Larter and Mena Suvari.

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Steve James directed Hoop Dreams, a documentary about up and coming basketball players, when he lived in Illinois. Wanting to do “something more” and “make a difference in someone’s life”, James entered the Big Brothers program where he was matched with a young boy named Stevie. Stevie came from a broken home, had learning disabilities and often acted out in school. Steve and Stevie’s relationship was going well, until Steve had to leave for Chicago for a job. Perhaps burdened by guilt, or for pure curiosity, Steve decided to return ten years later with cameras in tow, to catch up with Stevie. What he found was a young man possibly more disturbed than when he left him.

Stevie is a documentary of incredible inter-family complexity. Stevie’s entire family lives within close distance, but their relationships are strained and disturbing - he has lived with his grandmother, for most of his life, because his mother didn’t want him in the house. Both Stevie and his Grandma despise the mother with venom enough to say that they’d rather see her dead. The most stable person in the family seems to be Stevie’s sister Brenda, who has a normal, happy home life - but even she has not escaped some of the ravages of Stevie’s acting out.

The documentary is masterful in the way that it presents Stevie as a completely formed human being. On one level, he’s funny, sweet and actually quite likable. But on another, he’s accused of a truly heinous crime and it’s pretty clear that he’s committed them. We waver this way, between feeling sorry for him and holding him in contempt. Even Steve James is conflicted by his love of Stevie and the belief that he is guilty.

The film’s success as a documentary relies on the fascinating portraits of all the people surrounding Stevie. Tonya, Stevie’s fiancee at first glance appears to be mentally disabled but her words strike to the very core of what Stevie is, and what the situation is around her. With the differences between Tonya, Stevie and Steve James, it’s clear that Stevie is a film that wears class issues directly on its sleeve, and bravely director Steve James isn’t afraid to expose his own biases, prejudices, and fears directly on camera. Perhaps it’s out of guilt for what happened to Stevie when he was gone.

Stevie was let down by so many people on so many levels, that it’s no wonder he turned out the way he did. It’s a sad portrait of a kid that never got a chance.

Movie Grade: A

Video: 3 out of 5
It’s a 16mm presentation, so I’d call it par for the course.
Widescreen Anamorphic - 1.85:1

Audio: 3 out of 5
Again, simple stereo - your average documentary soundtrack.
English (Dolby 2.0)

Extras: 3 out of 5
Quality over quantity in this one. The commentary track with Steve James and his producers should be experienced along with the movie. They provide some valuable insight into the production, Stevie’s life and other elements of the film. There are also five deleted scenes. These are pretty short, but you can see them with director’s commentary.

Overall: 4 out of 5
Stevie is a great documentary that despite it’s rather heavy subject matter, proves to be a fascinating and entertaining film. Highly recommended for fans of all non-fiction film.

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… it just fades away.

Spoiler Alert: I give away everything about this made for TV movie, but not like it matters. You won’t (or shouldn’t rather) watch this. It’s bad for your soul. You will go to hell if you watch this.

This is one of those fine films from the boys at TBS. Made for TV, made for fun. I don’t know what it is about these kind of movies that so fascinates me. The made for TV format usually calls for a dumbed down script and a film easily cut into a tidy-commercial-break format. That has a way of limiting what you can do. Unfortunately, what they’ve done here is even worse than usual.

Evil Never Dies stars Thomas Gibson formerly of one of the worst TV shows that ran for over four seasons, Dharma and Greg.

The basic gist: Detective Mark Ryan’s wife is killed in their home. It takes him a while, but he finally hunts down the killer and watches him as he’s put to death by lethal injection. All is well and good. Except for the fact that Detective Ryan is now drinking a lot and getting more cave-man like as the movie goes on. Thomas Gibson always seems to have some kind of befuddled look on his face, like the way a dog will cock his head to the side when they hear an unusual noise.

But of course, as we have learned from the title, Evil Never Dies. Well, in this case, it does die but it’s brought back to life by an idiot scientist and his impossibly shapely and attractive assistant (Katherine Heigl). Needless to say, this modern day Frankenstein begins wrecking havoc upon the unwary citizens of a small, Canadian-like hamlet. Note: he doesn’t go lumbering about like a proper monster should. Quite the opposite - he’s just a plain old human that likes to kill. You’d think that once getting brought back from the dead, you’d take a pretty low profile, get some hookers and go work in construction or something. Going around concocting overly-complex kidnapping and murder plans wouldn’t exactly be tops on my list.

For reasons only known to the plot gods, Gibson and Heigl end up as a team hunting down the evil monster lurking about. You know he’s evil because he has a widow’s peak and has dyed his hair dark black. Not only do Heigl and Gibson team up to fight evil (because it never dies, you know) they also team up in the sack in one of the most uncomfortable and unnatural love scenes in all of TV moviedom. They’re being stalked by a crazy, black haired freak, Det. Ryan has an warrant out for his arrest (don’t ask) and Heigl has been running around looking pretty and confused. So naturally, they must consummate their relationship in the middle of a stormy, plot-filled night.

Now the big twist. Near the end of the movie we find that…wait for it… Heigl’s character has been working with the killer all along! Oh…my…God! What a twist! What an amazing, original twist. I was so jaded and dulled by the rest of the movie that the mere reveal of her as a bad guy made me chuckle, shake my head disapprovingly and reach for another beer. Let’s just turn this movie off right now… oh… I have to watch the whole thing in order to review it. Really? The whole thing? But I know what’s going to happen ne…yeah. Journalistic integrity. I get it… but this is just a bad TV movie, I don’t have to watch that carefully right? OK. I guess I do “owe it to the filmmakers.”

The film was directed by Uli Edel - best known for other crappy TV movies, but mostly known for 1993’s fantastically naked bomb, Body of Evidence starring Madonna. Unfortunately, Evil Never Dies doesn’t feature any of the cheese that made that movie so enjoyable. And there’s no nude Madonna to drag us guys into watching it either. So we’re pretty much screwed on all fronts.

The idea with these movies should be to take the Bruce approach. You know it’s not going to be a good serious movie, so make it as cheesy and over the top as the market can bear. At least it’s fun for the audience. Why are they trying to punish us instead. No one should take something like this seriously. Not even the filmmakers. Not even Naked Madonna.

It’s not as bad as Escape from Mars, but it comes pretty darn close.

Movie Grade: D

The name of this show sounds like the title of a terrible Jean Claude Van Damme film. The plot would be something involving a series of competitions with stereotypical, culturally insentive enemies, and the final fight would involve shards of glass and take place on top of a slowly revolving platform in an empty-but-still-functional warehouse. Lucky for us, Fight Quest doesn’t involve Muscles from Brussels or plots involving airplanes and explosions. Though it does involve martial arts in far flung land.

The first season now on the Discovery Channel, Fight Quest follows Jimmy and Doug, as they travel around the globe, visit cultures with a deep tradition of martial arts, train, spar and compete. The conceit of the show is that these two men have five days to train with experts of each martial art, after which they take place in a small scale competition to prove their mettle. Not surprisingly, considering the short amount of time that they have to train, neither Jimmy nor Doug dominates in any realm, but it’s amazing to see how each fighter uses their strengths and which of the two is most tuned to a given style.

Fight Quest is part travel show, part Martial Arts fighting event. You can learn a lot about the people of a land, just by seeing the way that they train. The relentless, quiet training of the Japanese, the artistic flow of French savate, the brutal quickness of Pencak Silat.

It’s strange, in these days of mixed martial arts and hybrid forms, that the pure artistry of these specific martial arts forms are celebrated. You can see how each of these forms have their roots in self-defense, and at the same time, just how many holes they have if they were to be used in anything outside of the confines of the sport.

As clumsy as Jimmy and Doug can appear while doing something completely foreign to them, you get the sense that given their ability to use and combine different forms and their very American MMA training, that they would be able to dominate almost every practitioner that they come across in a no holds-barred environment (except for maybe the Brazilians).

But that’s not what this show is about- who’s best in a fight. It’s about two Americans learning the traditional arts of different cultures and doing their best. Fight Quest may not feature the best of fight competitions or the most in-depth of travelogues, but for anyone interested in fighting, traveling, or fighting while traveling, it’s a compelling show.

In these days of slowed down fictional TV shows, reality and documentary TV may be the only bastion of true entertainment. I mean, what else are you going to watch? More Rock of Love 2?

TV Grade: B+

Fight Quest at the Discovery Channel Website

Lucky for the film viewing public, this second installment of the Spider-Man franchise takes everything right with the first movie and improves upon it. The first Spider-Man was a great movie - a competent and exciting film, deftly directed and finely acted for a superhero movie. But it almost seemed like it wasn’t big enough.

Even though the film has some serious caliber acting talent (I’ll get to that in a second), the real star of the show is director Sam Raimi. We all know and love the man’s low budget movies, most especially Evil Dead. But with the first Spider-Man, he was forced or chose to tone down his signature style for a more straightforward blockbuster-action oriented approach. With Spider-Man 2, Raimi brings back his unabashedly frenetic style. In one tremendously exciting sequence, Doc Ock’s arms madly attack doctors in manner lifted directly out of Evil Dead 2. With no music in the background, we see huge optical zooms, blood and shaky-cam as the horror-hag screams of terror fly through the soundscape.

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Hell, there’s even a prominently displayed chainsaw that gets put to some great use. This sequence is so exciting that I giggled with fan-boy laughter. Alone, this is well worth the price of admission.

This time out, Spider-Man is having some serious thoughts about being the spandex clad web-shooter, namely because it’s keeping him from his real love, Mary Jane. Of course, there’s another bad guy on the loose, in the form of a mechanized octopus guy that Harry Osborne (James Franco) is funding now that he’s in control of his late father’s company. Yes, the setup is similar to the first movie (accident causes scientist to become deformed, MJ is put in danger, and Spider-Man must rescue her), but then again, what superhero movie DOESN’T conform to such plot elements?

How the sequel differentiates itself from the first movie is through and increased reliance on strong action sequences, while still being able to maintain a very solid story and nice dialogue. Yes, the movie was worked on by a Pulitzer winning author and although the script for this film isn’t going to win a prize of similar level, it is well written and enjoyable.

As always, Tobey Maguire is perfectly cast, this time as the extremely disillusioned version of Peter Parker. He has a series of bad things go worse for him in this film, and Maguire encapsulates that pathetic nature that helps to sell the story. Also good is Kirsten Dunst, in a role admittedly light on the show off moments, but solid and pretty. Who I really loved, though, was Alfred Molina, independent film actor extraordinaire. As Doc Ock, Molina makes an empathetic figure, a victim as much as much as anyone. Oh, and James Franco is pretty good too as the tortured Harry Osbourne, son of the first Green Goblin. There are some nerd-worthy hints on what’s to come as he recedes darker into his hatred of Spider-Man, the one that killed his father.

Spider-Man 2 is one of the better sequels you’ll find, and even more importantly, one of the best superhero movies ever made. A visual feast, with some great acting and exciting, breathtaking directing.

Movie Grade: A

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Although a nerd of the usual variety, I hold no sentimental spot in my heart for Transformers. I loved the toys, watched the cartoon, had my fun and grew up. I wasn’t afraid that Michael Bay was going to “ruin” the film. After all, there’s only so much to ruin of a television show that was created for the sole purpose of selling toys. So too the film: when the first title you see says “Hasbro presents”, you can expect even an enthusiastic crowd to titter at the thought.

No big deal after all. Plot is but mere happenstance in a Michael Bay film; a vehicle by which to carry big action sequences, hot girls and in which dialogue only serves to fill the silence between large explosions.

The plot that does exist finds Sam (Shia LaBeouf) the recipient of a magical car which takes him on adventures, appearing to be possessed by the devil, only to be revealed later to be a, yes, Transformer. The Transformers have come to earth to retrieve the ‘allspark’ - a magic macguffin cube that will turn every mechanical device on earth into a Transformer if the evil Megatron has his way.

And that’s all you need to know.

I knew exactly what I was getting into going to see Transformers. It’s crafted by the feathered hair of demolitions expert Michael Bay, whose love of giant crashes is equaled only to his obsession with beautiful young women too perfect to exist in the real world. The only thing I didn’t know was how big or how or how dumb the action.

The answer? Rather big and rather dumb. But it doesn’t come as much as a surprise. And after all, how cerebral can you get about a movie that promises giant fighting robots from a distant mechanical planet? Talk about suspending your disbelief. Besides Shia LaBeouf’s typically great performance as an uncomfortable teenager, you have to suspend your disbelief at nearly every turn. Suspend, suspend, suspend. Oh let me count the ways you’ll have to ignore that little voice in your head.

Beautifully rendered and amazingly realistic, you’ll have to suspend disbelief when the robots start doing shtick like out of the Keystone cops and telling jokes. It’s strange and rather unnecessary. Shouldn’t they be stoic protectors from beyond? And don’t get me started on the Transformer who apparently only watched BET in the early 90’s and speaks in a jive unseen since the first season of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Also, apparently everyone in America drives a GM. There’s nary a Toyota in sight.

But nothing is more improbable then Mikaela, the character played by 21 year old Megan Fox. She’s straight out of every young male’s fantasy, particularly apt given the target of the film. With intense blue eyes and flowing dark hair, as Mikaela, Megan trots around in belly baring tops, with a mini skirt and a somewhat dull expression that allows you to project whatever sick fantasies that you may have about a high school junior. Sure, she loves jocks, but she might just fall for the big nerd who has giant robots as a friend. Of course. And she knows how to work on cars. And she gives whip smart retorts to robot witticisms and knows how to pout sexily. It’s the typical thing.

And yet despite all this and a running time that exceeds two and a half hours, Transformers proves to be exactly what you need on a hot summer day. Groundbreaking CGI, big battles in the streets, CIA analysts that look like Swedish models, car chases - big, dumb, improbable. Ignore all the plot holes big enough to drive an Autobot through, and have some fun.

Movie Grade: C+

Swept Away has been called 2002’s shittiest film. It’s the story of a rich, arrogant woman who gets swept away to an island with a gruff Italian fisherman. There, they fight and wait for it… and they fall in love. It’s a remake of the 1975 Italian film of the same name, with some hugechanges. The original was filled with complex moral issues and questioned the nature of love. This movie abandons all that for a simplistic romantic plot with only a few hints of the complexity.
Swept Away is a film that fails on nearly every level. It’s too hateful and shoddily created to be a romance. It’s too light to be a drama. Even Ritchie’s overly slick commercial style isn’t fun with the boring landscapes and settings presented here. He’s a director so fond of slick camera moves that they always overshadow the material. Couple that with his headache inducing cutting and POV shots and not only does Swept Away make you long for the ending, but it gets you there with a pain in noggin. Not to mention that the film has more montages than VH1’s Behind the Music. Ritchie really needs to up his game.

Madonna starts overacting from the word go. Ok, she’s a bitch. We get it. She does even out later in the movie, but by that time you don’t care what happens to her. You don’t care if she and her little Italian friend live or die.

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Jesus, you don’t like her in this film. That’s the point, but we hate her so much that we want to kill her. We don’t care if she’s happy or not, even if she has repented for her past transgressions. And perhaps we hate her because she’s a combination of both the real Madonna and a character. I’ve never found the pop goddess to be one for huge amounts of adoration.

Despite that, I know that she’s a better actress than this. Although most of her work (OK all of it) is pretty pathetic, there’s a spark of talent there. It’s definitely the crappy material she’s decided to devote her time to for oh so many years. I must note though, that the material girl is still in fantastic shape. Frankly, her body is the only thing this movie has going for it.

Movie Grade: D

Video: 3 out of 5
The film has a nice bright transfer, but the entire thing has a washed out appearance. This is on purpose, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. With the boring setting, you’ve got one fat, bored looking flick
Widescreen anamorphic 1.85:1

Audio: 3 out of 5
I didn’t notice the audio at all. The music was nice and balanced, but there wasn’t a lot of surround activity or really dynamic audio.
English (Dolby 5.1 and 2.0)

Extras: 4 out 5
The 19 minute behind the scenes is actually worth watching and in fact the only thing worth watching on the disc itself. Madonna is charming, funny and self-deprecating as she and her husband interview each other about the making of the movie. There’s more laughs and drama than all that other deserted island shit we’ve seen before. There’s a few deleted and extended scenes, plus a director’s commentary. The director and the producer don’t really sound prepared for anything and they’re rather boring to listen to.

Overall: 2 out of 5
What saves this from being a 1 out of 5 is the nice and slick, albeit short, behind the scenes featurette. Otherwise, there’s nothing about the movie or the disc that any normal human would find enjoyable.

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And it’s not even as though the plot of Alien vs. Predator is THAT bad. Oh, it’s convoluted enough, and not exactly the kind of straightforward action that we got in all the other alien and predator movies. No, the fact that it essentially a coming of age film about the “good” Predators isn’t even the worst part, it’s just that it’s filmed in such a terrible way, and paced in a very strange manner. It’s that it’s led by characters so undeniably uninteresting, that you really don’t care when they die.

Here’s the lowdown on the plot, for those that even bother to think about that sort of thing: it’s modern day, pre-Ripley, and one would suppose post-Predator because that took place in the 1980’s. Anyway, in this non-futuristic setting, Lance Henriksen and his mega-corporation has found an ancient temple in the Artic Circle. He assembles a team to explore it, and soon they find themselves in a ritualistic war (or hunt) between the aliens and the Predators. Not to ruin anything boring for you, but it seems that this temple is a sort of proving grounds for teen Predators. Hmmm. The humans get eaten by Predator and Alien alike, but eventually “team up” with the predators in a creepy and unnecessary display of ridiculousness.

That’s not to say that the film doesn’t have its high points, because it is interesting in its own right. I mean, if it was on the SciFi Channel on a Friday night, it’d be more than a sufficent offering for the B-Movie crowd. Hell, even given it’s rather strange presentation, the film has enough blood, guts and suspenseful moments to make it worth a pizza-and-beer type film festival. But you get the undeniable feeling as you’re watching this film, that they’ve gone and squandered a great opportunity. Two of the biggest and most interesting monster franchises of the past 20 years flushed down the toilet, and you say to yourself, “Man it could have been, nay, should have been, so much better.”

Movie Grade: C-

Video and Audio: 4 out of 5
Not surprisingly, this new film looks pretty darn good with its wide scope, nice dark levels and clean picture. Sound rocks, which serves to cover the misshapen production design. Go with the DTS if you’re going to listen at all.
English (DTS 5.1), English (Dolby Digital 5.1), Spanish (Dolby Digital 2.0 Surround), French (Dolby Digital 2.0 Surround) / Anamorphic Widescreen - 2.35:1

Extras: 3 out of 5
So, so extras and nothing that’d I’d want to watch more than once. There’s an alternate version of the film, but to be honest, I didn’t notice much difference between the two. Maybe some more blood. There are a handful of unneccessary deleted scenes, and a short making-of featurette. Also a couple of commentaries with the “director” and other various people in the production. Too much about how great the movie is.

Overall: 2 out of 5
This film makes me mad, but you should take a look for yourself to see how bad you dislike it. At the very least, worth a rental.

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Paul Walker never did strike me as the kind of guy that could do Shakespeare or even manage to show some real emotion on camera. He’s just a pretty boy who does what he’s told and smiles while doing it. Of course, this makes him a perfect, exact fit for 2 Fast 2 Furious, a literal videogame of a movie.

Paul Walker returns as Brian O’Connor, now a fugitive cop on the run. After helping a muscle bound criminal escape into the horizon, Brian has made his way to Miami in search of chicks, sand and high stakes car racing. Soon, he’s snagged (quite easily) by the police, and he’s pulled into a complex car and drug-dealing scheme by the FBI. Of course, he can’t do it alone, and given the absence of Vin Diesel, Tyrese is just gonna have to do. Roman Pearce is a brash, braying criminal who likes to take his shirt off. And he drives in demolition derbies.

If the characters sound rather two dimensional, it’s really because 2 Fast 2 Furious is set up like a big videogame, with the plot divided by separate missions which the characters receive from “bosses” and then must complete for cash and prizes. The film really is that simplistic. There’s nary a double cross or complicated character development in the whole thing. It’s such a testosterone filled film in fact, that the male hormones spill over into weird homosexual overtones between the two macho male leads. We’re supposed to believe that Roman doesn’t want Brian to date sexy girls, because he always falls for the wrong kind of woman. I like to think that it’s more because Tyrese wants to make sweet, sweet man-love with Paul Walker.

But really the most important thing to note is that the film matches up perfectly with the need of the target audience. After all, this movie attracts a certain kind of crowd, as it isn’t exactly American Beauty. The cars are amazing, even for someone who doesn’t know shit about lowering a Japanese car and making it into a street racer. Hell, the 2 Fast 2 Furious even makes me want to get a Skyline - 500 horsepower with nitrous in a tiny car? I can see the attraction of something like this.

Singleton is a fine director (much better than uber-hack Rob Cohen) but he’s soured a bit in recent years. Nonetheless, his car chases are fun, and that’s all you can ask from a movie such as this. Hot girls are also a necessity (although in the testosterone filled world of car racing, they’re more ignored for the hot machines that are present.) But we still get hotties Eva Mendes and the sprite-like Devon Aoki. Eva Mendes absolutely smolders with an old school sense of sexuality and she’s definitely one of the up and coming actresses – along with being some pretty tasty eye candy. Devon plays a racer who looks like a living, breathing anime cartoon.

In fact, 2 Fast 2 Furious is like one big cartoon: pure action through and through. Car chases, hot girls and plenty of style - really, what’s not to like?

Movie Grade: C

Video: 5 out of 5
This is a really gorgeous transfer. The bright sunshine of Miami makes the colors of the cars and scenery pop. You really can’t get better than this.
Widescreen Anamorphic 2.35:1

Audio: 5 out of 5
The audio on this disc is going to blow your mind. The rumble of the engines will shake the room and the cars are going to sound like their whipping around your head.
English (Dolby Digital 5.1), French (Dolby Digital 5.1), Spanish (Dolby Digital 5.1)

Extras: 4.5 out of 5
It’s all good stuff, but it’s chopped up into lots of little featurettes. Let’s just list the stuff, OK?

The commentary is really great for the film nerds, because not only does Singleton know his stuff, he knows how to explain it well. He talks about technical choices in shooting and gives you plenty to think about. It’s not a great movie, but it makes you realize just how much work goes into these things. It’s also a good idea to turn on the “fact track” when you listen to the director. It’s a good way to go into information overload.

• Inside 2 Fast 2 Furious (A 20 minute featurette)
• Deleted Scenes (with intros and commentary)
• Outtakes (Tyrese is a time-wasting jackass)
• Tricking Out a Hot Import Car (Playboy bunny Dalene Curtis looks confused)
• Supercharged Stunts (A nice little featurette about all the stunt work)
• Making Music with Ludacris (On the set)

There’s also info about three of the cars in the flick and the mods that went into each of them. Plus, some funny footage of stunt driving school and people showing off. Best of all, there’s a 5 minute short film that you can view before the movie that shows what happened to O’Connor between the two films. It’s an interesting extra that’s well worth a look.

Overall: 4 out of 5
A great presentation for a fun movie. Don’t expect any spectacular plot developments. Just turn off the brain, pop in the disc and drive along.

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